Twelve Ways to Tell the Difference Between Your Sponsor and Your Therapist

1. Your sponsor isn't all that interested in the "reasons" you drank.

2. Your therapist thinks your root problem is your lack of self-esteem, negative self-image, and your poor self-concept. Your sponsor thinks your problem is a 3-letter word with no hyphens.

3. Your therapist wants you to pamper your "inner child." Your sponsor thinks he ought to be spanked.

4. Your sponsor thinks your inventory should be about you, not your parents.

5. Speaking of your parents, your sponsor tells you not to confront them, but to apologize to them.

6. The only time your sponsor uses the word "closure," is before the word "mouth."

7. Your sponsor thinks "boundaries" are things you need to take down not build up.

8. Your therapist wants you to love yourself first, your sponsor wants you to love others first.

9. Your therapist prescribes caretaking and medication. Your sponsor prescribes prayer-making and meditation.

10. Your sponsor thinks "anger management skills" are numbered 1-2-3... 12.

11. Now that you haven't had a drink in six months, your therapist thinks you should make a list of your goals and objectives for the next five years, starting with finishing up that college degree. Your sponsor thinks you should start today by cleaning the coffee pots and helping him carry a heavy box of literature to the jail.

12. Your sponsor won't lose his license if he talks about God